I’m so tired of this guy. Every day I get on my proverbial knees and implore the gods: may he lose in November and then just vanish, poof, gone, a single tangelo hair swirling in the tailwind. I won’t even mention his name here.
He was the subject of an excellent article in Sunday’s (9/15) of The New York Times by Russ Buettner and Susanne Craig. It explores his stint as host of The Apprentice, which more than just about anything propelled him to the White House.
For someone who’s repelled by — but also relishes — D.T.’s unique awfulness, it is mwah.
You should read the entire article if you can. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/14/business/donald-trump-apprentice.html?searchResultPosition=1
But here are some key takeaways from the article, which was based on thorough reporting and solid sources (soon to be a book):
STINK. After T was signed to the show in 2003, the producers went to T-Tower’s 26th floor executive offices to scout it for locations. They were immediately hit with a “musty carpet odor that followed them.” Furniture was chipped, décor badly out of date. This was T Organization’s headquarters in New York, but very few people were visible working there. T’s own desk had no memos, files, contracts, no computer…just newspaper clippings about his asshole self. [Note: emphatically NOT in this article but elsewhere, a former Apprentice contestant says the smell is partially “diaper”. He asserts that Trump is incontinent, has been for years, wears a Depends-like undergarment and he just lets go if the notion takes him. He’s never been sued. Just saying.]
WHY HIM? T was not the first choice of the producers to host The Apprentice, but more savvy, successful financial titans passed. T was on the verge of bankruptcy, yet again, for his many poor ventures. So he had the time to devote to the show, and he craved the spotlight. Two solid reasons to choose him.
PRODUCER DILEMMA. In the words of Buettner and Craig: “The producers would also need to invent a version of [T] that did not actually exist – measured, thoughtful and endlessly wealthy.” They did this via a segment titled ‘Meet the Billionaire’ which aired, in full or in part, at the start of every show. In voice-over T brags about himself while images of his various brands, properties and ventures are shown….most of which had already gone under or soon would.
WIND. It was decided that the show’s opener would be a helicopter shot: close on T then pulling back to show the Manhattan skyline. As they were shooting it, T expressed concern about his hair. And indeed: “…the whirling helicopter blades had levitated [T’s] hair, which looked like a cotton candy pancake floating over his head.” Pure gold.
BIG DEAL. At around this time T violated his father’s dying wishes and cajoled his siblings into selling the properties the patriarch had left them in trust, because T desperately needed the cash his share would rake in. T handled the deal. Afterwards, the bank’s own appraisal of the value of these properties revealed that the master of the art of the deal was taken to the cleaners in the negotiations to the tune of about $240 million.
WORK ETHIC. How did T decide who to fire on the show every week? He just spat out a name at random. No analysis, no homework whatsoever. “He would fire the absolute wrong person,” the authors quote a producer. T “had no idea what was going on, and he would just make something up.” The editors then had to scramble in post-production to find footage to make that (often talented and effective) contestant look like a loser.
THE SKEEVY DIVA. The show was a ratings success, and T immediately exhibited insufferable star behavior. Directed a helicopter to land in a parking lot, damaging some cars, rather than on the assigned grass expanse, because he didn’t want his shoes to get wet. Was easily distracted when an attractive woman was nearby. Was moody, and impatient with briefs. But mostly…and predictably…
SLIME. Early in its run, the primary producer of The Apprentice negotiated a deal to integrate products (toothpaste, pizza, jeans) into the show’s challenges. The product manufacturers would pay for this exposure, of course. The producer offered T half of any such fees – very generous, as T would do nothing, be responsible for nothing, in this area. The program was a success, the fees rolled in, and T demonstrated his gratitude by making side deals, or entirely hijacking deals being formulated, cutting his generous producer-partner out. The producer was well aware of this activity (described as “slimy” by one associate) but said nothing, to keep the “talent” happy. Authors Buettner and Craig: “That lucky windfall, similar in size to his inheritance and also requiring no business expertise, funded a new wave of [T]-run businesses that would lose money.”
For a fun-nauseating summary of T’s upbringing and careers in business and politics, see my previous post, He Threw Rocks at a Toddler.
Nuance Cubed 