Q. My financial success depends directly on fossil fuel production as well as the stability of the markets. I have children, with grandchildren on the way. I experience periodic guilt, knowing that my quarterly reports are flushing their future down the crapper. Can the Covenant help?
A. It sure can! By investing in the Covenant today, you, your wife, your mistress, her dogs and your kids will be fine.
Q. What is the Covenant of the Ark? I need to know before I invest.
A. It’s no mystery how you got to be in the .02% of the .5%. Consider the world post global warming. Rising sea levels. Severe weather and resulting destruction. Disruptions in services. Shortages of food and potable water. Mass migrations. Social and political upheaval. Private property and possessions at risk. Famine. Disease. Sounds grim. Invest in the Covenant and you will ride out this shitshow in comfort and safety and not miss so much as a tee time.
Q. Sounds great. But how?
A. The Covenant is an investment fund to finance the acquisition of the resources and infrastructure necessary to ensure comfortable survival post-GW. Ideal properties. Adjacent farmland and water rights. Transportation. Security, of course. But that’s not all! Once we’ve acquired prime farmland and water rights, for example, we can sell our goods at top dollar at extortionate rates to ensure that we continue to profit, continue to keep that distance between us and them. Our Arketeers have the kind of political muscle, savvy and amorality to get the job done.
Q. Wow. Sounds great, and so simple!
A. It’s not as simple as it sounds. You would have thought polygamy would have been a non-issue. The necessary contingency of stocking each community with single women of breeding age should have been obvious. But no. Wives, amIright? On the other hand, we thought the debate on a reliable source of energy would be contentious. But brilliant lightning struck early on when one savvy wag noted, “Nuclear, of course. World’s ruined. What’s the dif?”
Q. But isn’t it wrong to deny climate change is real, do everything I can to ensure my industry accelerates it, while quietly planning to survive afterward, even profit from it?
A. Not at all because global warming is God’s will. Don’t be alarmed. We are not thumping a Bible here. It’s logical, not theological. Clearly, the rise of income inequality at the dawn of the global warming apocalypse is not a coincidence. It’s destiny. What other than divine intervention could create such a perfect spiral. The way It Is Meant To Be. Only God could arrange such dominoes: the ability to pay yourself, or simply arrange to rake in, a truly vulgar—and I mean that as a compliment—amount of money; a vaporous tax system that has given you the ability to not just keep it all, not just hide it, but to make it grow; a Supreme Court that has swept away, as if with God’s mighty hand itself, any impediments to your ability to shape events; and an Internet, the most amazing communications device in history, that has (paradoxically? or miraculously?) stifled or dissolved meaningful dissent by giving everyone a voice.
Invest in the Covenant today! God is totally with us.
Nuance Cubed 
keep up the blog…lovin’ it